Just a peek

                            Photo by: Michael Barton Art

Doctor Who

                             Photo by :Blue Note Images

I am a nerd/ geek/enthusiast- whatever you wish to call it.  I love Comic books ( I am a Marvel girl from the Mid 80's on...along with a spattering of Indi titles- ElfQuest being a very favorite) I am a Star Trek fan,pretty much since birth ( I grew up watching it with my dad....and had I been a boy, My middle name WOULD have been Kirk) I saw the first Star Wars in the theater. ( and had lots of action figures...too bad none of them survived time)  I have been a fan of Doctor Who since the Tom Baker days.
The moving  of Doctor Who,and geek culture in general into the mainstream makes me happy...I can easily get merchandise ( and merchandise made to fit  women...instead of things just geared toward boys and men) pleases me.
I unashamedly love comic book films,and adventure films...and you pretty much would have to drag me in kicking and screaming to a chic flick.
I grew up reading Asimov, Herbert, McCaffery, and so many more....the worlds that were created on these pages, on the screen were so much MORE than the world I was in.They seemed richer and deeper and somehow more accepting of the awkward, tiny,redheaded girl,that I was  ...I could go there whenever I needed to escape the cruelness that childhood can be.
The fact that it is OK to be a "geek" or a "nerd" now....really is a wonderful thing to see.
And NOW,I get to incorporate my geekery into shoots!  Doctor Who ( above) Star Trek, I am working on a Dark Phoenix as well as a Black Widow  shoots.  Batman, Wonder Woman, Superman ( DC I know, but classics)   I am in Heaven, I tell you Heaven!  

Vintage Hollywood

                             Photo by G&D Studios

Back

  Photo by: Michael Barton Art

Hat

                            Photo by: Bill K

Tattoo session

                            Photo by G& D Studios 


I am continuing work on the large tattoo of a Dragon and a Phoenix you see in this photoshoot.   Since this shoot in December, The Phoenix ( on my stomach)  has been completely colored in.  The next session is March 7th, where we will work on finishing the dragon on my leg.

Most of the time,I sit rather well for tattoos...I don't squirm,or yell, faint or puke.  ( Yes,ask your tattoo artists,they most likely have had ALL of these things happen to them at one time or another) Now granted, on the whole this has been a tough tattoo...it goes to my lower ribs at the front, from hip bone to hip bone, around the ribs on my side,and down to my upper thigh....most,if not all of these spots tend to be painful ones.  ( more than ,typically a shoulder, an arm etc)

My sitting yesterday did not go well.  I seemed to be just super sensitive,so had to break every half an hour or so...I spent a good portion of time having to bite my own knuckles ( I did avoid screaming and crying,though there was some soft cursing and grunts- The whole screaming thing tends to frighten other clients in the shop...I try to avoid that )  The goal for the day was to finish up the wing on my ribs and the tail feathers ( except for little bits of extra color) We did indeed make it through... Though by the end of the thigh, and the session ,  I could feel the muscles, especially in my leg, start to jump and twitch.  ( an aside, Miles Maniaci at Deluxe Tattoo is very calming and mellow...and certainly helped me make it through)

By the time I walked in the door at home,I was not feeling well ( after an hour drive) I was shaky, woozy, and shivering.  I managed to get up the stairs and hit the couch before I quite literally fell over.  I think I was actually shocky.  I ate a steak salad and an Atkins snack bar and felt reasonably better, though I almost puked twice, and spent the majority of the evening laying on the couch, wrapped in a blanket, with a cat curled up next to me,and a cup of hot tea in my hand.  It wan't until this morning that I felt "myself" again.

What was wrong, what was different, what was the problem? What is the lesson here?  EAT.  I had eaten my normal breakfast/ lunch( or my normal lately, as I am working on getting back down to my modeling weight) So I had had 2 cups of tea, lots of water and a large apple  ( and ran 2.5 miles) before going in.  Apparently this was not enough.  Now I know. Don't eat heavy...but don't eat too lightly either.    

Organza

                             from the ORGANZA series by Blue Note Images  

Blue

                 Photo By: Cadence Gamache ( Now Mccarrel Photography)

Second, and the real beginning.

                            Photo by: MYK Productions HMUA: Nicole Lanute


This is from my second Photoshoot on   8-27-12.
Taken by My dear, old friend Mike Jones ( he is my age,but I have known him for well over 20 years)

He had come back to the Chicago area to go to school , and get a degree in digital photography, and he wanted to work on his portfolio.  He,knowing I had recently lost much weight, wanted me to model for him.  I had enjoyed my session with Aza Azunia so much that I agreed.  I figured I would get a couple shots, and get to spend the day with some of my best friends...win, win right?

So he came over,helped me pick out some wardrobe from my closet, and we set a date the next week.

Nicole, the MakeUp and hair artist, I had known from a former job where she had been the receptionist, I a  designer, and I had put Mike and she in contact.

Mike picked up Nicole and they came over to my house ( these were all shot in the forest preserve behind my house...it has been used several times by me for shoots...as well as by other photographers in the area)
Having someone else do my makeup was a rather novel experience for me ( still is, since 99%of the time I still do my own makeup and hair)  So we got dressed and done and trooped out to the woods.

Mike still is a very mellow guy,but becomes very focused when shooting, he gives tips if he feels it is needed, but for the most part lets you do your thing ( though he will get flashes where he is like " we have to do THIS" )  As the day went on...he kept saying things like " you are good at this" " you should do this" " you SERIOUSLY need to do this"  I laughed at him. I told him " I am 40 years old, short and tattooed, how is THAT going to work?" Only knowing at that time runway and high fashion type modeling where yes...young and tall and very thin are indeed the rule.

Thank goodness for Mike and his stubborn insistence that this was a path I should look into!

Finally after about a month of him bugging me about it, I did some research....lo and behold,there is a market for alternative types such as myself.  Is it huge? No. Will I EVER make the kind of money as the women working fashion week or in the pages of Vogue make. No. But you know what, that is ok.  I partly do this, because as an artist, ( I paint and am a designer) I enjoy  using myself , to help others to make a different type of art. Because I believe that yes, photography is just as much an art form as Painting ( or it can be...it isn't always)   I enjoy pushing myself to learn to be better...working on poses...to make them interesting, better, finding better angles, expressions, positions.  Working on hair and makeup for different looks ,and different eras.  Finding interesting outfits and concepts to push not only myself,but the photographer.
Learning and pushing myself, and showing people that one doesn't have to be 19 ,and rail thin to be published,or even signed ( yes,I am agency signed...it is a small local one, but they are good people, and they are working hard. Kingdom Model Talent Agency, go check them out if you are casting or looking to model yourself )
All in all, I enjoy what I do,and am excited to see where this path will lead.

     

First

                             Photo by Aza Azunia- Sugar your Spice


This is from my very first photo shoot, on 7-16-11.  The one I got to celebrate my losing 80 lbs. The one I got for me, for Todd, to help me feel that I could be sexy again...and before I even had a glimmer of thought about actually becoming a model of any kind. Aza was kind,enthusiastic, and offered me great tips.  I thank her for helping to set me on this path.  

Out line

                                 Photo by: Bill K.



I am currently working on a tattoo, and  have been since June of 2013.  I am hoping to be done sometime in March of this year.  In this picture from late June of last year, I just had the outline done....at this point I have most of the dragon and a good portion of the phoenix colored, and my Tattoo artist ( Miles, from Deluxe Tattoo in Chicago) estimates 2 or 3 more sessions,my next one being next Wednesday. I have been holding back on the type of shoots I am doing,because it's unfinished state  bothers me ( I am a  touch OCD) though most of my photographers tell me I shouldn't worry about it .....  What does it mean,you may ask? ( Like many,  I have meanings behind my tattoos....though for some the meaning is as simple as "I like it"- which is perfectly valid )
This one has lots of meaning for me.  The dragon represents, power, wisdom,strength and good luck. as well as the "Yang"  My husband also has 3 dragon tattoo's, so in several ways this is an homage to him.  My dragon will be in water colors, ( blue and greens...maybe some yellow)  and holding a lit cigar, instead of the traditional pearl.  The hubby can spend HOURS in the water, he is a real water baby.  He also smokes cigars...got it?
The Phoenix, ( or Fenghuang) of course, represents rebirth, a rising out  of the ashes, as well as the Yin. She is auspicious, represents fidelity, and she is lucky. Taken together they represent a successful , prosperous and strong marriage and relationship.
My hubby and I hit a rough patch several years ago, and since then we have both been working hard to get ourselves, as well as our relationship right.  I can honestly say that it is the best it has ever been, but still continues to get better . It really is  wonderful...we are more 'together', more open, communicate better, trust more and we are more comfortable with ourselves every day. there is so much love.... ( mushy, I know)
To continue,instead of the traditional cherry blossoms drifting, I have oak leaves, which will be in autumn colors ( why autumn? 1. this whole piece blends into the leaves on my back,and those are autumn...and it is my favorite time of year ) The oak is also a strength symbol, power,magic, the ability to be steadfast, to stand strong against the storm...and there...you have the meanings behind this latest tattoo.  I can't wait for it to be finished ...and I have several photographers vying to be the first one to get to do the tattoo shoot when it is done! I should perhaps have an auction and have them bid on it LOL!            

Happy Valentines Day!

                      Photo by: Owen Roberts Photography : Image Manipulation by: Constance Medrano

Dramatic Shadows

                                                             Photo By Michael Barton Art

Shadowed

                            Photo by: Michael Barton Art

I have been thinking of offering this as a poster for sale.... any thoughts?

Facebook Contest... help me out?

One of the ways to "get your face out there" is by entering contests on Facebook.  ( Or contests anywhere actually, but we will focus on just FB at the moment.  )

I have entered on for The Alternative Model Directory this month.  The Theme is "Rebirth" this is the picture I selected.  By Michael Barton Art.   For those of you with a FaceBook account , can you go here, and "like" this picture? I haven't really won a contest yet...I come in top 10, or even 2nd...but I have yet to actually WIN one.  Help a girl out?

So you want to be an art model....

                                         Art By: Tracey Padron


I have been  regularly art modeling ( in addition to photography) since November of 2012. I  usually work between 2 and 6 sessions a week ( all over the Chicago area...from Park Forest to Greyslake, from Evanston to Gilberts, and all places in between) So that is one of the keys to making a living at it...the ability and the willingness to travel...in all weather.  To be working regularly, you need to be on the books at as many different places as possible. Because most of them only book you for one class ( though there are some that book in 3 class blocks...and I recently booked one that will go for a 6 class block)

Though not all Life Drawing/art Modeling is nude,much of it is.  I have photographers ask how I can do art modeling, but don't do photography nudes ( except on VERY rare occasions,and specific trusted photographers) Let me tell you, the vibe, the feel, is a very,very different thing.  Sitting for a class or a group, and being drawn is totally different  than one on one with a photographer.  Most of the time, for the classes I might as well be a basket of apples sitting there...I can see it in their eyes...they are breaking me down to shadow,line, shapes, flow...sometimes color. The are measuring me with their pencil( or yes sometimes with their thumb) They are not seeing ME, really at all.

I love working with artists in any medium .  The painters, the sculptors, those that work in pastel, graphite, charcoal, watercolors, ink.  So many mediums,and so many interpretations of the same pose,the same person. It really fascinates me.

So how does one do this, and be good at it ( so as to be booked more than once) ?

The aforementioned ability to travel.  The ability to show up and be on time. ( and if something happens beyond your control,the ability to call and let them know what is going on) Obviously being ok with being nude,and sometime an instructor pointing things out on your body to help the students...not touching you, but typically using a ruler or straight object .  Not all instructors will do this but some do...be prepared.

The ability to BE STILL. No matter if you are getting a cramp, or your nose itches....don't move. Sometimes for 25 minutes ( and I have done poses as long as an hour...though those typically are reclining)
The ability to get back into the same  pose after a break without much input. ( there will generally be some,but you want to be able to come very close just using the tape marks)

The ability to come up with attractive, unusual and interesting poses and the stamina ( and self knowledge ) to hold them.

I work out almost every day...but I will never have the stamina/ balance  for holding poses that another local model, J, has. He is a personal trainer and yoga instructor....So can balance on one foot for 15 min at a time with no wobble...he can hold poses I can't....and that is ok.  You have to know what YOUR body does,and does well.  I do twisted, curled, angular, emotional poses...that's what I do, and I work on doing them the best that I can, and am always trying to think of new ones.

A typical class is about 2 1/2 to 3 hours, and you will work in sections of 20-40 minutes then break.  What happens in those 25 -40 minutes varies wildly between instructors... . Sometimes you will start with some 1 minute poses ( allowing you to do more strenuous things) and gradually work into 5 minute 10 minute, up to 20 minute  or longer poses. Sometimes you will do 10 minutes of 10 second poses ( and trust me, near the end of that 10 minutes you are frantically thinking of what to do next...and "did I do this one before?") Sometimes you will be doing just one pose for the entire session  ( typical for painting and sculpture) Be open to the different ways of doing things.

What else do you need to know.... don't be a diva. Some classes are chatty, some are not, some play music, some do not, some chew gum and / or snack while working, some do not.  Be open and accepting of whatever the class dynamic is. I have heard absolute nightmares of models...( and from models as well) give respect, expect to be respected. If you are not giving respect you won't be called back, if you are not being respected...don't go back, even if they offer.  You should always have somewhere out of the way to change, you should have a heater in the winter ( especially if nude) you should get breaks, you should not be touched without permission, you should not have a photo taken without permission. ( and if you aren't comfortable with that, you have the right to say no)

You should always have a robe and slippers for breaks ( the floors of most studios are not clean places...so unless you want the bottoms of your feet black...bring slippers) I also typically will bring a white sheet for a drape ( how many other naked behinds have been on that chair, pillow..etc?) Sometimes I will also bring a big exercise ball, sheer fabric, a big beanbag....different props to work with.  It keeps things interesting, especially if you have modeled with the group before.

Art modeling , for me ,is always interesting,and mostly fun....I enjoy meeting the students, the teachers, the coordinators, and seeing what they come up with.  So many different visions...each one unique. Don't treat it as a joke, don't treat it as an alternative until something else you would rather do comes along...if you book, show up.  And when I say show up...don't sleep walk through it....give your best for the artists sake.      

 



 

Natural Tattoo Care

                                                       Photo by: Bill K

( I wrote this for the Modified Beauties Blog a while ago, and am sharing it here)

Many Tattoo shops recommend using normal / conventional over the counter items such as petroleum jelly, or  lotions to care for a new tattoo.  One is normally not really given options or information for a more chemical free, natural tattoo aftercare.

As more and more information comes out about the danger of many of the chemicals and ingredients in conventional lotions, creams and salves, (not to mention soaps, body washes and shampoos) it is even more important to care for our skin, and our ink in a gentler, natural way.

So,after many tattoos,and trying many different products and regimens to care for them with my ( very)sensitive skin.Here is what I have figured out. ( I have also researched)

A tattoo is essentially an abrasion... a scrape on the skin.  The key is to keep the skin not only happy, but be careful that the ink stays where we want it.  

1. For the first few days cleanse gently with a chemical free soap or cleanser. The often recommended DIAL has a huge amount of chemicals in it including Triclosan  which not only is harmful to the environment  and  helps produce “super bacteria” has also been linked to higher rates of allergies in children.
 Instead use something like Castille Soap, which comes in both bar and liquid forms.  I personally like the Dr. Bronners all in one brand.  You can get it plain, or with Lavender or tea tree oil added.  I use the tea tree version, the lavender would be quite soothing as well. (Tea Tree oil is a natural antibiotic and anti fungal.)

2. Keep it moisturized, lightly.  Don’t use thick ointments that are petroleum based or occlude ( clog) the pores.    Old fashioned tattoo remedies are thick and do occlude the pores, in effect suffocating the wound while it’s healing. For immediate tattoo aftercare, look for a light, oil-based product that allows the skin to “breathe.” Hemp oil, olive oil, coconut oil, as well as almond oil are all good base oils for this. The addition of such botanicals as Tea Tree oil, Lavender, or Honey, only help add to the effectiveness of the moisturizer and the healing properties. ( You could indeed put pure honey on it, as it has wonderful  healing properties...but that is a VERY messy proposition)

3. Avoid the "crusties." For the first day, your tattoo will seep a clear liquid . Try not to let this crust on your skin, but if it does, gently wash it off with warm water. ( Don't PICK)

4. After the tattoo is scabbed, THEN you begin moisturizing with a good unscented, dye-free lotion. Keeping the skin hydrated during the peeling process and long after will help with itchiness, flakiness, and preserving the richness of your tattoo color. Try to stay away from lotions that contain  petroleum.  Instead use a lotion that is rich in fatty acids for free- radical protection and non-greasy hydration. Lotions containing Shea butter, hemp oil,  coconut Oil, Almond or walnut oil as well as olive oil will  work well to keep your skin moisturized and help healing. I ADORE  and totally recommend Warrior Bear Rub by Native Touch.  Pure and natural Shea Butter with added essential oils and herbs. It has been,hands down, the best tattoo aftercare I have ever used.  

5. Watch the ingredients. Lanolin, for example, which comes from sheep's wool, causes allergic reactions in a lot of people. Some tattoo aftercare products also contain  beeswax or petrolatum, and mineral oils which can clog pores, or may contain contaminants. These ingredients are widely popular in over-the-counter creams and lotions because they are cheap and easy to manufacture. The lanolin ( if allergic/ sensitive) and mineral oil found in these lotions can cause excessive seeping, clogging, scabbing, scarring and color loss. Stay away from products that contain mineral oil, propylene glycol, Sodium Lauryl Sulfates or parabens. It is also best to use lotion that is free of dyes and fragrance to keep any potential skin irritants to a minimum. Obviously if you have a known allergy to something like Lanolin, Shea butter, or vitamin E, it is best to avoid putting it anywhere on your skin.

6. Remember to always protect your tattoos from the sun ( the rest of your body also ,but especially your tattoos) sun can cause color fade as well as discoloration. No need to spend extra on "tattoo" sunscreen, as it identical to regular sunscreen.Just find your self a natural,gentle sunscreen that you like and slather it regularly.

You have made the investment in money,  time, planning, pain and perhaps a little blood for a tattoo that speaks to you and who you are, don’t you think that the aftercare, deserves just as much care and attention?

NOIR

                                                       Photo by: Blue Note Images

Make up and skin care for SENSITIVE skin ( or those who don't want all the chemicals)

                                                       Photo by: Mccarrel Photography
                                                     

I have naturally red hair, and like many of my red headed  brethren, I also have sensitive skin. I have also, over the years have developed a host of other food ,environmental and chemical sensitivities.  It does make it a little difficult to work as a model...where wearing makeup and using multiple hair products is part of the the life.

So what to do?

I am just really careful about what make up goes on my skin. ( and have been known to bring my own kit when a makeup artist is being used)   I will share some of my favorites...as not only have they worked for my sensitive skin, most of them are free from most of the harmful, sometimes carcinogenic chemicals that are part of many "conventional" brands ....( and yes many,many, many of the common brands are not good for you AT ALL...and what is the largest organ of your body? YOUR SKIN! If it is dangerous to put IN your body...don't put it ON your body, because you will absorb it, and it ends up on the inside eventually)

So.. Lets start at the beginning.
For cleansing, toning, firming creams, dermal fillers, moisturizer, enzyme masks ( as well as shampoo and conditioner) I ADORE Andalou Naturals    ! ( I, of course, use their "Age Defying" line, they also have a brightening a clarifying and a sensitive line...all really great stuff)  I either order it online or can easily pick it up at my local health food store. I can honestly say that in the 6 or so months I have been using it, I have seen a VISIBLE difference in my skin. It is smoother, tighter and has more even color. ( One thing to remember is any new skin care regimen....give it some time...give the cells time to replenish themselves before judging on weather or not it is working or not working for you.)  
For regular body lotion I love Kate's Magic.  Everything smells WONDERFUL and again, all natural, with natural scents from essential oils.  Unfortunately I have only found it online or in catalogs, but the quality and the scents can't be beat. ( I am rather fond of the "Fire" and "Earth" body lotions as well as the "Aphrodesian Fire" Body oil...just yummy...and I typically get a lot of " you smell good" (from both men and women!)
Tinted moisturizer/ sunscreen ( for every day wear) foundation,powder ,  blush, bronzer and mascara, ( and some eye liner)  I actually Like Physicians Formula "Organic Wear" The coverage is good,the colors are good and it is reasonably priced at the local drug store.  It certainly makes it easy!
Eyeliner, lipsticks and nail polish I use Mineral Fusion.  It is easy enough to get both on line and at my local health food store ( near me, that would be Fruitful Yield) They also have a full line of lotions, cleansers, shampoos and the like, I just have not tried them...though they certainly would be worth a try. My other favorite Nail Polish brand is Zoya...also free from the three really bad chemicals ( one of which used to make me break out wherever my nails would touch my face... before I found the nail polish that was safe for me,I had not done my nails in probably 10 years) Zoya has a huge color selection and I order it on line...and  they frequently have sales and such. The coverage is good, as well as the durability...and their velvet line is WAY awesome!
Eye shadows- I REALLY like SHANY, and their loose mineral collections...I have not tried any of their other things ( and honestly haven't checked ingredients) But their color selection is HUGE. ( they are loose,so a little harder to work with, but so worth it)
Some other brands for eyshadow,lip stain and the like I  actually get from  small, Etsy shops, and have wonderful colors, quality and are super nice to work with. Most of them are organic, as well as vegan, and reasonably priced. Pink Quartz Minerals, Willow Tree Minerals , Tater Rounds Beauty, SoBe Botanicals, and D&E Handmade  .

For Christmas, I got a makeup airbrush kit, and found some mineral airbrush makeup online.  As I experiment and try out this new way of doing things I will let you all know.

All of this is not ONLY for you if you have sensitive skin...these are good for EVERYBODY.  Everyone could use less chemicals slathered on their skin, everyone can benefit from these natural, organic, less harmful makeups and skin care regimens.  Be gentle to yourself, be gentle to the earth.

 

Impressionistic Dreams/ Nightmares

                                          Photo by: Michael Barton Art

A typical day "off"

There are many models that will tell you about a typical day in their lives while working ( which vary wildly, depending on type of gig or modeling, so really aren't typical at all....typical= no such thing)
So I am going to tell you what I do on days off...days I have no classes to model for, no clubs, no workshops, no photographers.  No traveling, no packing, no trying to fit things in.

5-6:am up ( during the week at least...if Todd ( hubby) is going in to work, I get up with him at 4:30 or 5...If he is working from home I get up at 6,to get Tee up and moving for school)

Have a cup of tea, and update 3 facebook pages ( one is my modeling one, so my own pictures get loaded there, as well as music and links) (the other two, I Admin, so post member pictures , accomplishments and sometimes links)

7am Another cup of tea ( I like my tea... alot. My current favorite is a cinnamon roobios chai with toffee flavored stevia) Remind Tee of schedule ( she has to be out the door at about 7:20) pack her lunch, put in her backpack.

7:20 Craigslist and Model Mayhem castings .  Browse send letter and links as applicable

8:30 ( roughly) do dishes. pick up house./ clean glass tables/ mirrors. Feed /take care of cats (3-Chemo, Rograine and Venus, they are Sphynx) hermit crabs (3) Box turtle (1- Bento) Do laundry ( fold yesterdays load/ put away, put a new one in)

10- check e-mails for responses...respond if needed.  ( check FB, news sites, etc)
11- Lunch ( lunch depends on calorie load for the day- sometimes a salad, sometimes leftovers, sometimes and organic bar or piece of fruit )
11:30 Work out ( on days off usually between an hour and an hour and a half) I like to do different things....Depending on season, ( and work schedule) three days a week I run, snowshoe or exercise bike.  The other days I could be doing yoga ( flow, regular or power) kickboxing, sword-fighting, piloxing, circuit training, kettlebell, Budokon, aerobics, dance ( hula, ballet, hip hop, Brazilian, Bollywood) Pilates, the list goes on...I don't like to do the same thing all the time, I enjoy mixing things up, have quite the selection of DVD's....and it's good for your body.
12:30/ 1- Shower
1:45- Run any errands needed ( pick up grocery, return movies, go to thrift store, post office ( I get the majority of my clothing for shoots there...unless they are being provided)


3- Tee comes home from school. Check about her day, homework, etc.  Pull stuff out for supper if thawing is needed.

4: check emails / texts phone calls again...respond

5: cook supper/ eat

6:/ 6:30 clean up
6:30- relax with hubby and kid ( usually watching movies with my laptop open )
10- bed

In around everything else there, I try to find time to paint ( I also paint abstract water colors and sell them on Etsy....The Modern Red Studio if you are interested)

So that's the days.... But it really isn't much different than a day "off" of any other working wife, mother.  The content or scheduling may change a bit...but the stuff that needs to be done...not much different at all.

And on that note...I am off to do all the things that need to be done!

 
                                                 Photo by Jack Hall

THIS!

  " Just because you don't like the way they look,doesn't mean they're not REAL women.  It doesn't matter what body type, face, hair, race, religion,sexuality, subculture, or profession they are/have or how "crazy" they are, what they have done or what dumb rumors have been spread about them. All that matters is that they are/ identify as female.  It's not that FU****G hard to understand. "  

Inspirational

I wanted to share this inspirational article about a model,

Melanie Gaydos

who has  a disability, who is making it, and determined to open peoples eyes.  Beauty comes in many forms, and many shapes and colors.... and there is beauty everywhere if you can open your eyes to see it.

Read it HERE!

You will not regret it!
 

My Story ( but certainly not all of it)

I have been an Interior Designer, I have been unemployed. I have been a surrogate mother for a couple unable to have their own children, (I had my own daughter in 2001.) I have been severely depressed, And I have fought my way back from it. I have been overweight, and I have lost huge amounts of weight ( and have kept it off for almost 2 years now) . I am currently at the beginning stages of being a bone marrow donor, hopefully able to help save the life of somebody with cancer. I have lived a lot in my 41 years. ( but still don't look it) 

A little about my story....

                                                                                     Photo: Michael Barton Art

At the beginning of 2011, I weighed almost 200lbs.
I had just given birth to my surrogate baby in November of 2010, and though I had not put on very much weight with this pregnancy , I had been steadily gaining weight since college. Doctors had told me over the years that I didn't have the "joints" to be athletic,I didn't have the "lungs" for it.( I have exercise induced asthma, and knee joints that have popped out for no reason ever since I was a child) Frankly, I was depressed, in almost constant pain, and had to make some sort of change…somehow. I decided that this was not where I wanted to be in life. This was not how I wanted to feel. So I started, slowly, to work out. My first workout after the c-section in 2010 ...belly dance ( in retrospect not the best choice) I puked, and it took me a good 20 minutes just to be able to walk up the stairs afterwards, with my shaky legs. But, I kept at it, a little at a time, a little more every day. I started to pay better attention to what I ate...not just for what I was not allergic to, (I have A LOT of food allergies in addition my other health issues) but what was actually good for me! Good for my brain,my body and good for the earth as well. By August of 2011, I was down to my goal weight of 121...and I continues to work out daily for definition, for the muscles I want to have. I have maintained that same goal weight for these two years ,but have gone from a size 5 to a 2 since then, because of the continued work, and the continuance of building her muscles. Even though I started modeling in 2012, I don't work out to get to a certain size, or weight. I work out because it helps my brain, I work out because it helps my body, I work out because it makes me feel good. And every time I do something that I haven't been able to do before, it is a victory. Every time I get a little further than she could before, I win. I don't do this to conform to some commercial or arcane standard of beauty, or to compare myself with others, I do this because I want to be the best that I am capable of being.

As a treat to myself in August of 11, for reaching my goal weight, I treated myself to a photo shoot ( with the wonderful, talented and very patient Aza Azunia) . I ( and my husband, Todd,) thought the pictures came out great, but then didn't think much more of it. The summer of 2012, a dear, dear friend ( Michael Jones of MYK Productions ) needed portfolio work, and asked if I would be willing to do a shoot with him, with my newly svelte self. While shooting he kept telling me that I needed to "do this" and then when he finished up the pictures still insisted she needed model. I scoffed at him. So he left it, until we did another shoot together, later that summer. He AGAIN pushed me to try. I finally admitted to him and myself that I truly enjoy modeling, I love the work and the fun, and I really enjoy the freedom of expression, the ability to play different characters, and when everything is right, the ability to make ART. So I looked around ...and discovered..yes, there IS a market for short, and tattooed, and yes even 41 year old models. The Alternative market seems to have a place for just about any type of model there is! Yes, I have been turned down for being too short. Yes, I have been turned down for having tattoos. And Yes, I have been turned down for my age, (Though I is thankful for the generally kind and complementary comments he gets about not looking her age, even in those rejection letters.)

I believe that all you can do, is learn all you can , keep growing, and keep trying, keep experimenting. Never get lazy and never ever take anything for granted. As Winston Churchill said " Never, never, never give up". And I am not planning on it.