A little about my story....
At the beginning of 2011, I weighed almost 200lbs.
I had just given birth to my surrogate baby in November of 2010, and though I had not put on very much weight with this pregnancy , I had been steadily gaining weight since college. Doctors had told me over the years that I didn't have the "joints" to be athletic,I didn't have the "lungs" for it.( I have exercise induced asthma, and knee joints that have popped out for no reason ever since I was a child) Frankly, I was depressed, in almost constant pain, and had to make some sort of change…somehow. I decided that this was not where I wanted to be in life. This was not how I wanted to feel. So I started, slowly, to work out. My first workout after the c-section in 2010 ...belly dance ( in retrospect not the best choice) I puked, and it took me a good 20 minutes just to be able to walk up the stairs afterwards, with my shaky legs. But, I kept at it, a little at a time, a little more every day. I started to pay better attention to what I ate...not just for what I was not allergic to, (I have A LOT of food allergies in addition my other health issues) but what was actually good for me! Good for my brain,my body and good for the earth as well. By August of 2011, I was down to my goal weight of 121...and I continues to work out daily for definition, for the muscles I want to have. I have maintained that same goal weight for these two years ,but have gone from a size 5 to a 2 since then, because of the continued work, and the continuance of building her muscles. Even though I started modeling in 2012, I don't work out to get to a certain size, or weight. I work out because it helps my brain, I work out because it helps my body, I work out because it makes me feel good. And every time I do something that I haven't been able to do before, it is a victory. Every time I get a little further than she could before, I win. I don't do this to conform to some commercial or arcane standard of beauty, or to compare myself with others, I do this because I want to be the best that I am capable of being.
As a treat to myself in August of 11, for reaching my goal weight, I treated myself to a photo shoot ( with the wonderful, talented and very patient Aza Azunia) . I ( and my husband, Todd,) thought the pictures came out great, but then didn't think much more of it. The summer of 2012, a dear, dear friend ( Michael Jones of MYK Productions ) needed portfolio work, and asked if I would be willing to do a shoot with him, with my newly svelte self. While shooting he kept telling me that I needed to "do this" and then when he finished up the pictures still insisted she needed model. I scoffed at him. So he left it, until we did another shoot together, later that summer. He AGAIN pushed me to try. I finally admitted to him and myself that I truly enjoy modeling, I love the work and the fun, and I really enjoy the freedom of expression, the ability to play different characters, and when everything is right, the ability to make ART. So I looked around ...and discovered..yes, there IS a market for short, and tattooed, and yes even 41 year old models. The Alternative market seems to have a place for just about any type of model there is! Yes, I have been turned down for being too short. Yes, I have been turned down for having tattoos. And Yes, I have been turned down for my age, (Though I is thankful for the generally kind and complementary comments he gets about not looking her age, even in those rejection letters.)
I believe that all you can do, is learn all you can , keep growing, and keep trying, keep experimenting. Never get lazy and never ever take anything for granted. As Winston Churchill said " Never, never, never give up". And I am not planning on it.
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