Body Image

Photo by : Bill K

I have said before that I am comfortable in my own skin.... and I am. But that doesn't mean that there aren't parts of my body that I look at and say "Ug,need to work on that"   That I am not still striving to make my body the best it can be.... not compared to somebody else ( though I won't lie, there are people out there that yes, I  think things like " wish I had those arms /abs, legs"..but I am perfectly aware that my body may very well just be different...and I accept that - other people's bodies don't  obsess me. ) 

There are parts of my body that make me glad for Photoshop. ( yes, you know it gets used....not extensively , but yes, my images go through post production, except for a very few) 

You may ask what? What do you work on?  First, I try to pay attention to what and how I eat ( do I fall down sometimes? Of course! I love junk food just as much as the next person....but I do TRY to limit it to one cheat day a week....and even then,I don't go totally nuts.... I may have a muffin, or some ice cream, or chips.... I don't go to the all you can eat buffet and have several plates mounded with food PLUS desserts and drinks.  I try to even keep my cheat days under some control. 

I exercise ( I try every day, but it usually does fall somewhere between 3 and 6 times a week) 30 min to an hour, with an occasional 1.5 hours.... but that is usually something like Yoga or Pilates . 

I will share with you my body demons.... the spots that I never am QUITE happy with.  I tell myself that they are BETTER, but then I tell myself they could still be better.  I don't obsess...it doesn't consume my every waking moment , but during a shoot, I think about them,and the ways to make them look their best ( posing really is half the battle , right there) 

My arms.... I come from sturdy German ( and Irish, Dutch, Welsh, English, French,  and Cherokee) stock.  Many women in my family are busty and have very sturdy, no nonsense arms. On one hand, they are strong, I have made them so, I can carry rocks, dig holes,heave things around without very much trouble.  On the other hand, my upper arms are thick, and at the moment, not as defined as I would like.  I continue to work on that.  

The eternal woman's lament... My thighs and butt.  I am not looking for "the gap" or the "hip bridge" ( though I do almost actually have the bridge) But that spot at the inner thigh....it's just so....jiggly.  My Butt, I miss the perky butt of my youth.  ( don't we all) But again, this legs and butt can run a 5 K , and a 10 minute ( sometimes better) mile.  They can climb, and jump and bend and carry this body of mine.... as well as a fair amount more( I have forgotten how much I squatted, last time I did, but it was a fair amount considering my size)  

Those little pockets of fat, near the back..between the butt and the back....you know the ones, the ones that overflow with tight jeans like froth, the muffin top I guess.  Fat.... you can't spot lose fat.  It goes away when it wants to.  You can spot tone muscle,but the fat that lays on top of that.... It comes off only with all over fat burning. The cardio, the tabata, the diet.  One may lose fat in their face first, or their boobs.  Their arms or their hips.... it all depends on your own body ,and one must be patient with it.  

I used to really want longer legs,but art modeling, believe it or not helped me over that hurdle.  There are standard human proportions, in height, in width, in the length of an arm a leg or a hand.  They, obviously vary in real life from person to person. I have found that the typical ones in the books( 8 heads high, with the legs, hip to toe ,at 4 high, three heads wide at the shoulder) I have them.... I have the classic human female proportions,and that isn't a bad thing... it helps me to be a better teaching tool, and I am pretty sure, helps get me call backs.    

As far as goals go- I want to improve definition, ( everywhere)  I want to see that I have muscles....darn it, I am working hard for them, I want to see them! My goal is not to look like a body builder....I don't want a diet or a lifestyle that extreme. ( and yes, those ladies WORK HARD for that - I respect them immensely,and there is beauty in that level of athleticism) My goal is to be strong,and be healthy, and for it to show. I am a work in progress, and probably will be the rest of my life.  But really it isn't about  reaching the goal, it is about working towards the goal, once you have set it.   

Just because I model, doesn't mean I am immune to body image issues, and might be MORE likely to deal with them, just because the whole business is so focused on that.... I still look in the mirror someday and am surprised by what I see in it.... I do not expect to see a body that is this size....I expect bigger, significantly bigger. But that doesn't mean I can stop, not for any decent length of time....health and weight-loss, doesn't just STOP...it is ongoing and must continue your whole life,if you are to improve or even just maintain. It is so worth it though.  Your heart, your brain, your entire body  will thank you,and run the better for it.